Hairy Butter

So I feel like this is as good a place to start as any, I am in continuous awe of my new housemate efforts to out-gross me. Before I moved in to these digs, I was convinced I was holding the award for scruttiest girl in the South East of the England, but it appears I was languishing too comfortably on my laurels. Today I came home about midday and I found this, amongst many, many other things..

A knob of butter on a dirty frying pan, garnished with human hair.

My first instinct is to laugh, because for some reason that is my reaction to ridiculously chaotic people. I love to imagine the scenario in which this butter met the hair, then moved to the frying pan, where it was never fried. I am still trying to eek out the details of this salubrious mystery, but I know the key ingredient is a congenital lack of regard for my kitchen needs, and of course butter.
 I have thus been inspired to write a blog about the circumstances in which mystifyingly disgusting things appear in my house. So I don't have to yell at her about it, I can just cowardly and passive-aggressively bitch about it on the internet.
Silver linings!